Quiet Time
I cherish moments like these. The stillness of the night, can just barely hear crickets chirping. The rythm of Matt’s steady whuffle breathing as he sleeps. It’s calm and soothing. I try to visit this place in my mind when my anxiety gets bad.
Works for the most part. A glass of wine, enjoyed on a night such as this is quite relaxing. The room is the perfect temperature, Matt is sleeping with one leg covered. Occasionally he stirs in his sleep, he’ll roll over and open an eye at me. Giving me sweet little kiss noises. Then he’ll fall back to sleep. He’s almost never aware that he does this. Still its reassuring that he thinks of me in his dreams.
The first two nights of this month I have slept horribly and I even woke up crying today. :/ This shit better improve.
Sleep
Body isn’t quite adjusting to this sleeping schedule as fast as I thought. But they fixed my paycheck finally. 14.30$ an hour plus retro pay all the way to my first week back. Get paid again March 2nd. Gonna throw all kinds of monies into my house fund. The guys are cool to live with and all but its hard to sleep here during the day sometimes. I love coming home to Matthew though. Usually when I come in at 5a he’s all curled up and sound asleep. So I strip off my uniform and snuggle in next to him. He latches onto me and pulls me close even though my skin is freezing. He whispers love in my ear and we fall asleep. This is the first time that I’ve actually come home from a late shift and gone immediately to bed. I guess the difference is that there is the promise of a warm embrace if I do.
Eff its early. I woke up because my knee is bugging me. However it is too cold to get out of bed and go get the ibuprofen. Guh. I’m going to try and go back to sleep I guess.
